Always Running Away

[Scoleciphobic]

A/N: I don't know why I'm doing this...I'm really, really not in the mood...my dog killed my kitten...*takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly* but...just because I'm upset doesn't give me the right to keep you all waiting, even if you've been patient.

Draco: Yes it does...
Me: No, but you're the one who dragged me out...

Anyway, I'm going to update this...it's the last NEW chapter for a while...sorry...I'll try to update it soon, but I'm not guaranteeing...

--

“Hey, Dreams! Wake up!”<br>
Jerking out of a sleep you don’t remember falling into, you literally fall off the couch. Couch? you think groggily. A grunt makes you look around.

Remus is still asleep on the couch, pressed deep into the back, enough room for another person. For me, you realize, a strange feeling rushing through you. I wish I’d known or I wouldn’t have moved. Your eyes widen. What?! No! I meant …you trail off and look for the person who woke you up.

It’s Caroline.

“Oh, hey,” you say, yawning widely and getting up.

She glances from you, to Remus, and then back again. “Did…”

“No!” you say loudly. Remus groans and rolls over. “No,” you repeat in a whisper.

She avoids your eyes, looking everywhere else. “You might want to go get ready…do whatever magic you do…you’re going to have a lot of explaining to do,” she paused, “so will he.”<br>
You frown a little. “What do you mean?” you ask warily.

“Well…James saw you two sleeping and somehow caught Lily. He showed her. She told him to stall Sirius while she woke you up…but she couldn’t…”she says, staring intently at the floor.

You wince. “Sirius saw…”

“Yeah…only James made it worse by telling him things like ‘you don’t wanna go down there’ and ‘a few more minutes’ first…”

-X-

“James! I’m hungry! I’ve check and rechecked my fly twenty times! I’ve redone my hair ten times! There’s no reason to not go down there…Unless…” he trails off, frowning and crossing his arms.

“Unless what?” James asks, tilting his head.

“Unless…” he says slowly, “you’re hiding something!”<br>
This said, Sirius shoves James out of the way and sprints out of the boy’s dorm. James takes off after him, trying to catch him and give Lily more time to wake you and Remus up.

“C’mon, Sirius! You can’t be hungry! You spent most of the night in the kitchens!” he calls desperately.

Sirius keeps going, only turning to answer his friend as he walks down the steps into the Common Room.

“Believe it or not, I am hungry. Hungry to know what it is you’re trying to—“ he stops abruptly as he spots the one thing he least expected to see.

There, on the couch, in view for everyone to see, are you and Remus, sleeping together. One of his best mates’ arms is around his girlfriend’s waist, holding her to him.

James enters the room in time to see the pain, anger, and confusion battling for dominance on his friend’s features. Finally an uncaring, impassive look appears as Sirius continues to stare at you and Remus.

“I’m sure it’s not what it looks like,” he says softly as he puts his hand on his shocked friend’s shoulder.

Instantly Sirius tenses and pulls away. He turns to glare at him. “Oh? Tell me, then, what else can it be? She lied to me, James. She told me she had an essay for McGonagall, but didn’t return. I waited for her. Now she’s sleeping with one of my friends! What else could it be?!”<br>
James watches as Sirius storms out of the Gryffindor Common Room. He turns in time to see Lily motioning for him to follow.

“I’ll wake Caroline up and tell her everything…including to make Dreams wake up,” she says softly.

He just nods and quickly follows after Sirius. Lily watches until he is definitely gone before shooting your sleeping form a reproachful look. She shakes her head and heads up to the dorm to wake up her other best friend.

-X-

[Scoleciphobic]

Groaning softly, you hit yourself on the forehead and sigh.

“I’ll wake up Remus. Go on ahead, we’ll be down shortly,” you mutter, turning towards the still-sleeping form on the couch.

“Um…alright,” she says and walks out of the Common Room quickly.

Sighing again, you place your hand on Remus’ shoulder and shake it gently. “Remus,” you say softly.

He stirs, but doesn’t wake up. Growling softly, you shoved him roughly as a tear escapes your eye and rolls down your cheek.

“Wake up!” you shriek as quietly as possible, trying to blink the other tears back.

Remus jerks awake and sits up, looking around wildly. When his eyes land on you, he frowns.

“Dreams? Why’re you in the boy’s dorm? What time is it? Where’s everyone else?” he asks groggily.

“I’m not in the boy’s dorm. We are in the Common Room…where we fell asleep. It’s time for breakfast. Sirius saw us and left, James followed, Lily and Caroline did, too,” you pause. “Sirius thinks we slept together…other than on the same couch.”<br>
“Oh…Oh! Bloody Hell,” he mutters, getting off the couch.

You nod absently and turn to go up to the girl’s dorm to get changed as fast as possible. Halfway up the stairs, you glance over your shoulder to notice Remus hasn’t moved and is staring at your back. You frown.

“Remus?

He jerks as if out of a dream and blinks. “Yeah?”<br>
“You need to get ready. We’ve both got a lot of explaining to do,” you say, sighing.

He sighs, too. “Yeah…I’ll see you down there.”<br>
You watch him turn and leap up the stairs two-at-a-time. Shaking your head once, you go up to shower, change, and put on the little make-up you wear.

~

Fifteen minutes later, you are walking down the corridor that leads to the Great Hall. You stop at the entrance, take a deep breath, and then walk in before heading to the Gryffindor table. Sirius glances up at you long enough for you to see the conflicting emotions of pain, anger, jealousy, and confusion in his eyes. When he looks away, you sigh and sit down on the other side of Caroline, as far away from Remus and as close to Sirius as you can.

Almost instantly, Sirius turns and starts flirting with a group of fifth year girls who were right next to him and also to you. Both Lily and Caroline shoot him looks of pure disgust. Remus is watching you, and you are watching Sirius, with a devastated look on your face. James looks from you, to Sirius, and then back, confused.

Suddenly the girl right next to Sirius squeals and crawls onto his lap, sucking and kissing his neck. He just smiles in pleasure. Unable to watch, you jump up and sprint out of the Great Hall, tears streaming down your cheeks.

As soon as you’re gone, Remus glares at his best friend. “You’re despicable.”<br>
Sirius glances at him and sneers. “I’m despicable? I don’t remember sleeping with your girlfriend.” He laughs loudly. “Oh wait, that’s right, you don’t have one.”<br>
Remus narrows his eyes. “Dreams was telling me things she’s too afraid to tell you. We stayed up late talking and fell asleep on the couch. Nothing happened.

“Uh huh, sure. Then, if that’s the case, why would your arm be around her waist?” he asks, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, I dunno, maybe to keep her from falling off the couch?” he growls.

“Temper, Moony, temper. It must be closer to the full moon than I thought.”<br>
Remus freezes and glances around, afraid someone had heard. The girl sucking on Sirius’ neck had gone off to class, leaving a very noticeable hickey. Otherwise, no one was close enough to have heard.

“That was low, Sirius. It’s not my fault your girlfriend is scared of you.”<br>
“Well, that’s odd. I don’t remember being bitten by a—“

He stops abruptly as Remus tackles him off his seat. “Finish that and I’ll…”

Sirius just smirks. “You’ll what? Bite me?”<br>
A pained look appears in Remus’ eyes and he gets off his old friend. “I don’t blame her for not telling. You’re just as bad as your family.” With that said, he calmly strides out of the Great Hall.

[Scoleciphobic]

“You really are a bastard, Sirius,” Lily snaps, getting up and walking out.

Caroline shoots him a disgusted look and follows Lily.

“Can you believe him?” Sirius asks incredulously. “He actually thought that I would believe his lies. Like Dreams would tell him things rather than me. It’s—”

“He’s right, you are a bastard. Did you ever think Dreams is afraid of your temper? Well she is. She wrote me a letter last year about your temper. She’s more afraid of you than Remus. All that makes it very probable that they stayed up late talking. You just over-reacted and basically cheated on her right in front of her eyes,” James interrupts, glaring at his best mate. “I’m not the smartest guy when it comes to girls, but I do know you just broke her heart. However, if you believe me or not…that’s up to you. Stop being a wanker, Padfoot, and find out the truth. Use a mild Veritaserum if you want to. Don’t let her slip away based on only an observation.”<br>
Sirius just sits there for a few minutes letting it soak in. Suddenly he groans and stands up. “I’ve been stupid haven’t I?”<br>
“Uh huh…”

Sighing, he starts for the doors. I need to find her and get a Veritaserum.

~

Sitting in the back of Potions, you sink low in the seat of your table. You don’t notice who sits next to you, nor do you really care. It isn’t Sirius; he’s still in the Great Hall with that girl on his lap. Another tear slowly works its way down your cheek in a burning path. Soon many more follow, growing into steady, yet silent, streams.

“Cie? Why’re you crying?”<br>
Jumping about a foot, you hastily wipe the tears off your cheeks and blink back the new ones. “I’m not,” you mutter, not looking over at him.

“Yes you are…”

“It’s none of your business!” you snap and glance over finally.

A look of sorrow, regret, and pain appears on your partner’s face as he avoids your eyes. A wave of guilt whips through you, making you wince.

“I’m sorry, Sev,” you say, sighing.

He just shrugs. “You’re right. It’s not any of my business.”<br>
“Yeah, but—” you break off suddenly as James walks in, closely followed by Sirius.

And Sirius’ hickey.

The breath catches in your throat as tears threaten to overwhelm you. Severus glances from you, to Sirius, to the hickey, and back to you. He frowns in confusion.

“I didn’t give it to him,” you whisper.

His frown depends. “I see…want me to hex him?”<br>
“No,” you sigh. “He thinks I cheated on him with Remus.”<br>
“Did you?” Severus turns to you.

“No…I was telling him everything and fell asleep with him on the couch.”<br>
“You told him…” he says, trailing off, his voice wary.

You just nod. Sirius looks around the room as he walks to an empty table on the “Gryffindor” side of the room. He glares at Severus for a few seconds before looking at you. His eyes widen in surprise, so you hastily wipe the tears you haven’t noticed escaped, off your cheeks. He motions for you to come sit next to him, but you shake your head and tap the side of your neck. He raises a hand to his own and feels the hickey. He lowers the hand slowly and turns to the front as Gringle walks in.

Absently, you begin to copy down the notes on the board. Next to you, Severus is doing the same. Or so it appears, anyway. If you were to look, you would see in his tiny, neat scrawl that he was writing instructions for a potion not taught at Hogwarts. However, you don’t look.

Suddenly a note lands in front of you, making you jump. Opening it a little, you instantly recognize Sirius’ handwriting. Sighing, you brace yourself for the only thing he could possibly be writing to you about (the final break-up) and open it.

You read:

Hey Dreams,

After you left, Moony told me what happened. Are you really afraid of me? How could you be afraid of me more than Moony? That’s not the point. The point is…I don’t believe him completely. You don’t have any secrets from me, you wouldn’t be able to keep them. I want to know what you were talking about. Meet me in the place I showed you last night. I’ll meet you there at dinner. Don’t worry, there will be food. Please come. I want to know.

Love,
Padfoot

Sighing, you place the note on top of Severus’ writing. Looking at you in confusion, he looks down at the note. You catch up on copying down the notes you missed while reading his letter through twice. You pull out a blank piece of parchment and start to sketch. You don’t notice Severus writing on the bottom of Sirius’ note, as you are too busy concentrating on the form of a cougar that is slowly coming into view under your bored, but skillful, quill.

Suddenly the note falls back in front of you. Blinking a couple times you read Severus’ note.

He’s just trying to reel you in, Cie. I know that my opinion means less to you than dragon dung, but it’s the truth. If he really loved you, he wouldn’t have that hickey.

Wincing a little, you scrawl back:

Yeah…I know…but I’ve got to tell him about it anyway…I

[Scoleciphobic]

As you are writing the next part, Professor Gringle comes up and snatches it out from under your quill. You watch in horror as he reads it over, and sink down in your seat as he smirks.

“My, my, my…we are in trouble,” he sneers, giving you a very bad feeling in the pit of your stomach. “It would seem,” he carries on, “that Miss Carden here has a rather large secret she has to tell a certain person in this room named Padfoot. Would you care to share with the class what that secret is?”<br>
You feel your face beginning to burn as you sink lower in your chair, wishing the Slytherin next to you would hex you into silence.

No such luck, however.

“We’re waiting, Miss Carden.”<br>
The worst that will happen is I’ll get detention, you think. “No.”<br>
Gingle frowns. “No?”<br>
You nod. “No…”

“No what?”<br>
“No, I don’t want to share with the class what the secret is,” you mumble.

Gringle’s left eye visibly twitches as he tries not to hex you. Once under control, his trademark sneer-that-gives-first-years-nightmares appears.

“I see. From reading the note, it would seem you’re pregnant. Unfortunately, you’ve already recently finished a pregnancy, so it’s doubtful you are again,” he says, smirking.

Oh Merlin! He knows! He’s one of the Death Eaters, you mentally scream, ignoring the gasps from around the room. Finally it hits you that one of your secrets is no longer a secret.

Looking around, you study the expressions on the faces of your classmates. All the Slytherins are staring at you in shock. Except, you notice, for Lucius and Severus. The former is smirking at Gringle, while the latter is staring at the table, breathing rather heavily. It almost seems like it is his child the professor just mentioned, even though it isn’t.

Your Gryffindor classmates look shocked and disgusted. Remus is staring at you, and you read his lips as he mutters an apology. You glance at Lily and Caroline to find dawning comprehension appearing in their eyes. James looks confused as he glances from you to Sirius, who whispers something. He frowns.

Taking a deep breath, you look over at Sirius. He’s staring at you. In his eyes you see pain, confusion, and anger. On his facial features he maintains a look of pure disgust.

“You cheated on me!” he mouths silently.

You shake your head frantically.

“very *friendly* person!” he mouths again.

Standing up, you bolt out of the classroom. You are doing a lot of leaving recently. You do have reasons, however. First Sirius cheats on you for no reason, and then he calls you a very *friendly* person. It’s not your fault your father raped you and forced you to bare his heir. Letting out a sob, you step in front of the wall to Sirius’ hideout. He won’t think to look for you here, not after he accuses you of both cheating on him and being a very *friendly* person.

Tapping the bricks in the same diamond shape as he had last night, you quickly enter and run up to the huge Common Room. You barely make it to a couch before you break down into heart-wrenching sobs.

~

[Scoleciphobic]

As soon as class is over, Remus ducks into the corridor and grabs Sirius, James, Lily, and Caroline by the sleeves and pulls them into an empty dungeon. He locks the door and places a silencing spell on the entire room. When he turns to his friends, he realizes he’s on the receiving end of several death glares.

“What do you want, Moony?” James growls. “I’m hungry!”<br>
“Yeah and I want to look over my Charms essay!” Lily exclaims.

“Ok, you can all do that, if you listen to me.” Remus shrugs.

Sirius raises an eyebrow. “Oh? What happens if we don’t?”<br>
“I’ll put the full body-bond on all of you,” he replies, sighing.

The four of them sigh and sit down in random places across the room.

“Alright, this is about Dreams and her preg—”

“What? I’m missing dinner and moments to flirt to hear how my ex cheated on me?! This is pointless!” Sirius stands up and moves to leave.

Remus points his wand at his friend. “Protificus Totalus,” he says lazily.

Sirius stiffens and falls flat on his back, glaring at him. The others stare in shock and move farther from the door. Remus just shrugs.

“Anyway, Dreams didn’t cheat on you, Sirius. First of all, she got pregnant last summer. Second of all, she was raped…by her father.”<br>
All of them gasp (excluding Sirius since he can’t move). Sirius makes a sound of protest, greatly resembling what homo sapiens call a grunt.

“What?!”<br>
“Why?!”<br>
“How do you know this?”<br>
Remus shrugs. “She told me.”<br>
The spell finally starts to wear off. “Why didn’t she tell me?” Sirius growls.

“She’s afraid of your temper,” Remus says slowly, as if speaking to a child. “I’ve already explained this to you. Look, Padfoot, just go find her!”<br>
“No! Even if it’s true, she hates me now!” Sirius says, looking panicked. “I called her a very *friendly* person.”<br>
“You did what?!” Lily shrieks.

“Called her a very *friendly* person…” Sirius repeats in a mumble. “I didn’t know!”<br>
Lily just glares at him. Caroline growls “Go apologize to her.”<br>
“I dunno where she is!”<br>
“Try where you told her to meet you in your note?” James offers.

Blinking, Sirius jumps up, unlocks the door, and sprints out.

He’s so hopeless, Remus thinks.

“Dreams can do a ot better than him,” Lily says quietly.

Caroline nods. “Yeah, she can.”<br>
Remus watches his three friends leave, and then sighs. A part of him wishes he could be the guy they’re talking about, but he knows he’s not. He’s had a crush on you since second year, but pushed it away until last night. You had shown him that you trust him, a werewolf, more than a pure human.

“Yeah, she can. It’s not Sirius, Regulus… or me.”<br>
He sighs and heads for lunch.

~

Your tears have finally stopped. For the past ten minutes, you have been curled up in a miserable ball in one of the chairs. You can’t handle the thought of facing the Great Hall after the Slytherin House knows your secret. The thought of seeing your friends’ looks of disgust makes tears reform in your eyes.

A sudden noise, resembling that of a waterfall, can be heard. You don’t move, even as the sound of footsteps pounds up the stairs. In fact, those things don’t even register in your heartbroken mind.

“Dreams?!”<br>
--

[Scoleciphobic]

[shadow=blue,left,300]A/N: There you are! Chapter 5! Now, it might take a while for me to update it again. I wrote this thing a long time ago, way before I even found those other four chapters again. So…enjoy!

Sorry for the wait that’s coming.[/shadow]

--

Sirius: Woohoo!
Remus: Um, you ok?
Sirius: Yes I’m just sooooo excited!
Remus: Why?
Sirius: MOUNTAIN DEW HAS A NEW FLAVOUR!!!!
Remus: Um…alright…<br>Me: Oops…<br>Remus: Yeah…<br>
Draco: Review!
Harry: Yeah, what he said.
Me: O.O
Harry & Draco: WHAT?!
Me: @.@
Harry & Draco: WHAT?!?!?!
Me: 0.o….o.0…<br>Draco: What the bloody hell?!
Harry: Exactly!
Me: Draco/Harry slash…^.^
Draco & Harry: *glance at each other* *move as far away from the other as possible*
Draco: *runs into bedroom*
Harry: *hides in a shadowed corner* *mutters* I am straight. I am straight. I am straight. Draco is sexy. I am straight. I am straight. I am straight. Draco is *censored* hott. I am straight. I am straight. I am straight. I wanna shag Draco. I am straight. I am straight. I am straight. I am straight. I am straight. *twitches*
Me: *evil smirk*

Remus: -.-‘<br>Sirius: Review…