He's Just So Sexy!

[Scoleciphobic]

“Dreams?!”<br>
Hearing your name, you jerk out of your heartbroken trance and look around for the owner of the voice. Your heart nearly stops when you see Sirius standing there, looking around frantically. What does he want now, you wonder bitterly. It takes you a while to realize he’s staring straight at you, and you’ve got to look horrible from all the crying you just did.

“Dreams…?” he says softly, slowly walking over to kneel in front of you.

You just stare at him for a few moments, your heart pounding painfully in your chest. It’s as if he isn’t really in front of you, looking like he wants to beg for your forgiveness and take you back. Then you realize that he’s not, and sigh heavily, your eyes beginning to burn with tears again.

”What do you want, Black?” you ask softly, purposefully using his last name so he knows you’ve accepted the end of the relationship.

To your surprise he winces and looks away. “It’s Sirius, not Black. It hasn’t been Black since third year…”

You shrug. “You haven’t hated me since third year.”<br>
He looks back at you, a hurt expression on his face. “I’ve never hated you, Dreams. I can’t believe you didn’t know that until now.”<br>
You feel the muscle that used to be your heart clench painfully, and roll over onto your other side so you can no longer see him. Just his face is enough to break your heart again, and it still hasn’t even begun to heal from earlier that day. It hurts to look him in the eyes—those eyes are what kept you sane through most of the last year.

“What do you want…Sirius?” you ask again, not turning to look at him.

He sighs heavily and lifts you up, sits down, and places your head in his lap so you’re staring straight up at him. The look in his eyes is one of seriousness, so you know he’s not doing this to help his ego.

“I want to…apologize,” he says, looking you in the eye. “I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions, and I’m sorry…”

Purposefully ignoring the painful empty hole in your chest that had a dead heart inside, you stare up at him expressionlessly. “You had every right to jump to conclusions. I would’ve done the same thing if I found out my girlfriend was pregnant, meaning she cheated on me.” Even though I didn’t.

“But you didn’t, did you Dreams?” he says sadly, running a hand through his perfect black hair. “You’re father raped you.”<br>
Hearing those words come from his mouth makes you flinch. Tears fill your eyes again, proving your theory wrong; you could still cry. It embarrasses you to cry in front of him, knowing he must think you pathetic and nothing but a weakling.

“Oh, Merlin, what’d I say?” he asks anxiously, as if your crying was all his fault this time. Which it really wasn’t, actually.

You just numbly shake your head. After taking a deep breath, you manage to slightly calm yourself down.

“Who told you?” you ask quietly, staring at him suspiciously.

“Remus,” he mumbles. “He told everyone.”<br>
You squeak in protest at the thought of the entire school knowing that your father raped you. He was going to be furious that you had blabbed—even if you hadn’t. You are so dead when you get home.

He frowns, obviously realizing his mistake. “No, no, sorry, Dreams. I meant he told everyone; as in anyone important. He only told me, James, Lily, and Caroline.”<br>
You relax in relief, closing your eyes a little, exhausted. The entire day has worn you out, and worst thing is that it’s just now lunch time. You still have several hours left and you doubt you’ll be able to make it. You sigh, comfortable with your head on Sirius’ lap.

Since your eyes are closed, you can’t see the frown spreading across your ex’s face as he watches you.

“Dreams stay awake.”<br>
Opening your eyes slowly, as if it pains you to do so, you look up at him in annoyance. “I’m tired, Sirius,” you whisper softly.

He nods once. “I bet you are. You can go to sleep as soon as we’re done talking, I promise.”<br>
“I’ve got classes.”<br>
He shakes his head once. “I’ll tell them you’re sick. McGonagall will understand.”<br>
You just sigh. “You think I could ask Dumbledore to put a memory charm on all the Slytherins who just found out?” you mumble more to yourself than him.

Instantly you realize your mistake and watch as anger and confusion flits across his face.

“What do you mean ‘just found out’? Are you saying that some knew before today?” he asks anger evident in his voice.

You wince, really not ready for him being angry at you. It was way too much for just one day, and you wished like crazy he would stop himself from upsetting you anymore. He seems to realize what he’s doing and takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about this yet,” he says reluctantly. “I’m still upset and confused, and you’re upset and exhausted. We could both do with a nap.”<br>
You smile sadly up at him. “Yeah…but…won’t it be a little odd if we both just go straight up to the Gryffindor Common Room? It’d be sorta suspicious…”

He smirks a little, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “Who said anything about going back there?”<br>
You frown in confusion, the innuendos in his statement completely lost on your worn out mind. “Where else would we sleep?”<br>
His smirk widens. “Right here.”<br>
You look around in confusion. Seeing nowhere the two of you could sleep, other than the two couches, you sigh and start to get up.

He stops you, and wraps his arms around your waist. “Where’re you going?” he asks amusedly.

“To the other couch to sleep,” you sigh, looking at him in frustration as you point to the place.

“No, no, you misunderstood me, love.” He pushes you up, and stands up too. He then points his wand at the couch you had been sitting on and it suddenly transfigures into a very comfortable looking bed. Just the sight of the bed makes you want to jump on it and purr in content.

“Sirius…” you start, staring at the mattress and pillows longingly.

“We’re sleeping right here,” he says, getting on the bed and patting the spot next to him, indicating for you to lie right there.

“But you dumped me…” you hesitate, looking at him sadly. “I shouldn’t sleep in the same bed as you.”<br>
“C’mon Dreams. For now, just forget I said that. In fact, as far as I’m concerned, I didn’t. I am sorry for reacting like that, it was totally uncalled for,” he says seriously, looking at you with a sincere glint in his eyes.

Smiling a little, you crawl over the blankets and pillows onto the bed next to him. “You sound like Remus with all those large, elaborate words,” you mumble as you slip under the covers and snuggle against the pillows.

He smiles sadly and imitates you, only pulling you against him and wrapping his arms around you, sighing in content. Blushing slightly at the position you two are in, you get over it and rest your head on top of his chest, closing your eyes. The steady beating of his heart is enough to soothe you.

“I love you, Dreams,” he murmurs suddenly, making you wonder if he’s saying it in his sleep or not.

Your heart speeds up a little and you look up at him in confusion. His eyes are staring directly at you anxiously, obviously waiting for your response. You smile a little and rest your head back on his chest.

“I love you, too, Sirius,” you whisper, closing your eyes and falling asleep.

Unknown to you, a smile of happiness is slowly appearing on Sirius’ face. He glances down at your suddenly sleeping form and chuckles a little. She was tired, bloody hell, he thinks, shaking his head. Closing his eyes, he also falls asleep, the smile still on his face.

~

“You know? I think Sirius should’ve told us about this place.”<br>
“James, shut up! You’ll wake them.”<br>
“I don’t bloody care! Do you know how many times I could’ve brought you up here to be alone?”<br>
“Prongs?”<br>
“What Moony?”<br>
“Shut. Up.”<br>
“Honestly, Potter, you are so selfish. Let Dreams and Sirius sleep, even though for the life of me I don’t know why Sirius needs any.”<br>
“I don’t know either, if anyone, I think Remus should be in that bed sleeping with her.”<br>
“James!”<br>
“What?!”<br>
“Oh, right, Sirius dumped her didn’t he?”<br>
“See? So Moony should be in there sleeping with her.”<br>
“I—“

“Oh come on, don’t tell me you wouldn’t like it. I’ve seen the way you look at her recently.”<br>
“James!”<br>
“Potter!”<br>
“Honestly, James, it wouldn’t make a difference…”

“Yes it would. You should be sleeping with her, not Padfoot.”<br>
“What the bloody hell are you talking about Prongs?!”<br>
“Oops, uh, hey Sirius. I didn’t mean it, honestly!”<br>
You jerk awake to find Sirius is out of the bed and slowly advancing on James looking as if he’s about ready to tear the hazel-eyed boy to pieces. Glancing around, you notice that Remus is flushing brightly and staring at the floor, whereas Caroline and Lily are trying to hide the fact they want to laugh. It confuses you like nothing else, until you remember what exactly happened earlier.

[Scoleciphobic]

Groaning a bit loudly, you fall back onto the pillows and try to disappear into the mattress. Suddenly everyone goes silent and you crack open an eye to find them all staring at you with strange expressions on their faces.

“What?” you ask, totally confused as to how groaning should earn you such looks.

Sirius snaps out of it first. “Prongs here—“ he shoots his friend and glare “—thinks that Remus should’ve been in bed with you instead of me.”<br>You and Remus both blush, causing Sirius to scowl even further. “You two did do things behind my back together!” he shouts.

You flinch and move farther away from him, visibly afraid of him. His eyes widen and he stares at you for a few moments before looking at Remus.

“You were right,” he croaks out. “She is afraid of my temper.”<br>
He goes and sits on one of the chairs, putting his head in his hands. Everyone looks from Remus to you, then to Sirius. You wince and get up to go kneel in front of him. Woah, de-já-vu, you think. You barely notice as Remus quickly ushers everyone out of the room as you’re too busy trying to think of what to say.

“Sirius…” you say finally.

He totally ignores you and keeps his head in his hands. You have no idea if he’s crying, asleep, or angry. A part of you bets on each one, but you want to know for sure.

“Sirius,” you repeat.

Still nothing. He keeps his face hidden from you, making you grow slightly impatient. Taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself down, you sigh.

“You’re messing up your hair,” you state, wincing a little.

That worked one time, actually. Of course, the end result was you were thrown into the pond and then hung upside-down—much like you had witnessed him do to Severus only days before. Of course, that itself made you stop speaking to all of them (since the other three were laughing hysterically at you). That was when you found out that Snape wasn’t like the others, even if he acted (and still does) like it.

“I don’t care,” he muttered into his hands. “You’re still afraid of me.”<br>
You sigh heavily and remove his hands from his face. You ignore as he tenses at your touch and look him in the eyes.

“I’m afraid of your temper, Sirius, not you.”<br>
“Same thing, Dreams,” he mumbles. “You thought I was going to hit you.”<br>
You move back and stare at him sadly. “No, I thought you were going to hit Remus.”<br>
His eyes snap to yours and he glares. “Oh, sure,” he says bitterly. “You’re afraid for Remus. It’s always about Remus, isn’t it? All because he’s a bloody werewolf.”<br>
You frown a little, and look away. “He’s a better listening than you are, Sirius. I’m sorry.”<br>
He doesn’t say anything and just stares at you. He then leans back in his chair and turns away from you completely, letting you know he’s not going to talk to you anymore for a while at least.

Something inside you snaps, and all the pain and anger you’ve felt for the past year at being pushed around by everyone comes rushing to the surface. You weakly fight it for a bit, not wanting to blow up at Sirius, because it will only make him furious at you, but finally give up.

“That’s exactly why!” you scream suddenly, startling him. “You hear one little thing you don’t like and immediately react to that, not even bothering to find out the rest of the story! You did that when I called Severus ‘Sev’, you did it this morning when you saw us sleeping on the couch, you did it in class when you heard I was pregnant, and you’re doing it now! How can you not have learned by now, Sirius?! Answer me, because I really, really want to know!”<br>
He just stares at you for a few minutes, blinking. “Dreams—“

“Save it, I’m not done,” you snarl, doing an uncannily accurate impression of Severus. “Do you want to know why Remus is a better listener? Because he doesn’t jump to conclusions! He listens to the entire part of it, and then forms an opinion! You don’t, oh no, not Sirius Black! You have to be right ever bloody time, don’t you!? It’s so immature of you, Sirius! Just like picking on Severus because he exists is, too, James is just as immature, so don’t get angry at me for saying that! I can see it in your eyes!” you can too. His eyes had flashed dangerously when you called him immature.

“Well—“

“I’m still not done!” you scream. “You know why I turned to Remus? Do you? Well, here, I’ll show you.”<br>
Sticking your arm out, you shove up your sleeve so that the Dark Mark is right in front of his face, in plain view. He just stares at it in shock.

“There, are you happy now, Sirius? I talked to Remus because he found out about the stupid thing first! I don’t even want it! I hate the Dark Lord with a passion! He’s the reason why I was pregnant in the first place. He got it into my father’s mind that a girl wasn’t good enough to inherit the Carden fortune, so he had to sire a son. Since I killed my mother by being born, who else was there to use but me?!” you pause, breathing heavily. Before Sirius can interrupt, you continue, “Now, he’s gotten me bloody engaged to your bloody brother and I’m so sick and bloody tired of being pushed around! You do it! He does it! My father does it! Regulus does it! Everyone does it! Why do you all think I can’t have my own life? Who gave any of you the right to control me?! I hate you! All of you! “ You finish, tears pouring down your cheeks.

Sirius just stares at you in complete and utter shock. He honestly hasn’t thought you could have all that anger pent up inside you, because normally, you were so easy-going and sweet to everything. Apparently, you were a pretty passive person, only exploding when it got to be too much. I wonder how much of it was truth, and how much was emotion, he thinks suddenly. If it’s all true, than she really does hate me.

“So…you’re…engaged to…Regulus?” he asks cautiously, as if completely afraid you’re going to blow up at him again.

You just nod a couple times, too tired to stand up, so you sit down on the other chair nearest to his. You know that you shouldn’t have blown up on him like that, but all the stress of the past year finally caught up with you and you really didn’t have the energy to hold it all in.

Sighing, you look away. “Sorry, Sirius. I should’ve told you, I know. I just didn’t want to lose you. Looks like I have anyway, huh? I’ll go now,” you mumble, standing up and moving to leave.

You feel his hand wrap around your arm as he pulls you on his lap and wraps his arms around your waist. He rests his chin on your shoulder and sighs; the entire position screams possession.

“It’s alright, Dreams. You haven’t lost me unless you want to have lost me,” he says into your hair. “I meant what I said before we fell asleep. I do love you, and I’m not going to lose you to my idiot brother…”

You smile a little. “I love you, too, Sirius. There’s only one little problem…with the whole you not losing me part…”

He totally misses your teasing tone. “What is that?” he growls darkly.

[Scoleciphobic]

“There’s only one person who can truly take me away from you,” you say, trying to fight the laughter in your heart.

“Remus,” Sirius growls lowly. “I’ll kill him.”<br>
“It’s not Remus,” you say, shaking your head a little.

Sirius tenses quite a bit. You know he thinks you are joking, but if it’s not Remus, now he’s not too sure. “Who,” he spits.

“Severus.” You stand up abruptly, moving out of his reach.

His face visibly darkens in anger. “You—Severus—?!? But—he—!! I—we—how—you—him?!???!“ he splutters, so angry he can’t string a sentence out to make sense.

You fight harder to keep back the laughter. “Oh come on, Sirius! How can you not know? He’s just so sexy! Almost as sexy as werewolves,” you say, sighing in what appears to be ecstasy at the thought.

Sirius just glares at you before standing up and forcing you to look him in the eyes. He searches for some sort of a sign, before growling at you.

“That wasn’t funny!” he says loudly, anger evident in his voice and tone.

You just stare at his expression for a few moments, before bursting out into laughter. “Y-es it was! Y-you should’ve s-seen your f-face!” you manage to say between bouts of laughter.

Your laughter somehow seems to calm him, for his expression softens considerably and he manages to crack a very weak smile. “I suppose it was…bet you wish you had a camera, huh?”<br>
You just smile and slip your arms around him in a hug, pressing yourself against his hard chest. “You smell nice,” you mumble into his shirt.

He chuckles. “You sound obsessive.”<br>
“Obsessive? Me? No way,” you say. You pull back and frown, as if thinking. “Ok, I’m only obsessive about Severus though.”<br>
He just shakes his head at you. “Don’t let James hear you, he’ll go ballistic.”<br>
You shrug, before a thought comes to you. “What about the Dark Mark? You don’t hate me?”<br>
“Not at all,” he says softly, kissing you on the forehead. “I love you, so I believe you when you say that they forced it on you. Perhaps, not now of course, we could talk to Dumbledore…you know, see if you could become a spy?”<br>
“I dunno, possibly,” you say slowly, a feeling of dread falls into your stomach. It’s as if the Fates are trying to tell you that if you decide to do that, your life will end shortly. Frowning, you shake it off and smile at him, even if it’s forcedly.

“Wanna go eat?” you ask. “I’m sure it’s about time for dinner.”<br>
He smiles at you. “I’m starving, thought you’d never ask.”<br>
He wraps his arm around your waist, and you two both start for the stairs. All the way down, you wonder if this means you two are back together again, or not. Also, it makes you wonder if being put through all this is worth it. Frowning sadly, you glance at him, to see that he’s got a thoughtful look on his face. Your eyes widen in horror.

What if he’s re-thinking his love for me? You wince, panicking at the thought of losing him for good. You don’t think you could take that, and even if you could, you definitely don’t want to be alone. Not only would you be losing him, you’d also be losing Remus, James, Lily, and Caroline. You sigh sadly and rest your head on his shoulder, your arm snaking around his waist.

“Are you ok, Dreams?” he asks suddenly, his voice full of concern.

“Hmm? Oh yeah, I’m fine,” you lie, mentally kicking yourself for falling back on an old habit.

“Don’t lie to me, Dreams,” he said, sounding hurt and sad. “It’s the only condition I have.”<br>
“Condition? For what?” you ask, totally confused.

“For taking you back and showing everyone that I don’t believe a thing Gringle said. He’s just a bastard, honestly,” he says, smiling at you a little.

You smile back, but it fades as you realize that the two of you have arrived at the entrance to the Great Hall. In moments, you will be amongst all the students who were present during the teacher’s spilling of your secret, and then some who have learned about it since then. You tense, shaking visibly.

Sirius looks at you in confusion, before it seems to dawn on him what’s wrong.

“If they won’t believe anything if I’m with you,” he whispers.

“The Slytherins will,” you mutter back. “Some of them are Death Eaters, too, who were there.”<br>
He snorts. “Not surprising, Snivellus is probably one.” Instantly he realizes his mistake. “Dreams, I—“

“Does this mean you hate me just as much as you hate him?” you ask, eyebrow raised. If someone you don’t know were to come up right then, they would think you don’t care. “Because you just naturally assume that since Severus disgusts you so much, he’s a Death Eater. I’m one, too, does that mean I disgust you?” you add, somewhat bitterly.

He sighs heavily. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean that to sound like it did. I love you, I really do, and I shouldn’t have assumed that. I still hate Snape a lot, though.”<br>
You just shake your head. “I know. Let’s just go in, shall we?”<br>
He doesn’t reply, but starts to walk in with you at his side. To your surprise, the entire hall doesn’t go silent at your entrance. A couple girls at the Gryffindor glare at you before gossiping among themselves. You can already guess what that they’re calling you a s.lut—or something along those lines at least.

Sirius glares at the people who are staring, and tightens his grip on your waist protectively. This causes most of the school to figure out that the rumors of your Potions class were untrue. Some even glare at the Slytherin table, obviously accusing them of lying. They, being the snakes they are, just glare right back at them.

[Scoleciphobic]

Relaxing a lot, you gratefully sit in the spot offered to you by Sirius. It’s next to Lily, and across from him, James, and Remus. You smile weakly at your werewolf, who grins sadly at you, as if knowing what has happened since they left.

Wait, my werewolf? Where the hell did that come from?! You shake the uncomfortable thoughts from your head and put a few bits of food onto your plate.

“So…” Lily says, obviously trying to start a conversation.

James smiles at her weak attempt, and immediately distracts Sirius into a discussion about Quidditch, that soon turns into an argument about one of the plays.

Or something like that.

“What happened between you two?” Lily asks you.

You shrug a little and smile. “I think we’re going back out again.”<br>
Lily squeals and you smile at her. The both of you completely miss the look of painful jealousy that crosses Remus’ face, but Caroline doesn’t. She frowns a little, but doesn’t say anything to him, at least not yet.

“That’s not all that happened! You two were up there alone for a while!” she says excitedly.

You shake your head at her enthusiasm. “Honestly, Lil, I don’t know what you’re thinking we did, but we didn’t do anything. Honestly! We just…talked a little.”<br>
Sirius catches your eye and grins at you. You smile back.

“Dreams is friends with Snape!” squeaks a high-pitched voice suddenly.

All of you turn to the small, slightly fat boy sitting on the other side of James. Peter Pettigrew. You narrow your eyes slightly. You’ve never liked him; something about him just puts you at edge.

“Shut up, Wormtail,” James says, finally going back to his food. “Like she’d ever even talk to that great, ugly grease-ball.”<br>
“He’s not a grease-ball, James,” you say softly, staring at your plate.

Now it’s your turn to be stared at. You sigh and finally raise your eyes to look at them. James looks about ready to murder you, Sirius is looking angrily at Peter, Remus is looking at you reproachfully, and both Lily and Caroline are looking at you in disgust. You growl softly.

“What?!”<br>
“You’re friends with Snivellus!” James exclaims incredulously.

“So? What’s the big deal? Besides, his name’s Severus, not Snivellus, so stop being so immature by calling him that ridiculous nickname!” you say, getting angry again.

Sirius seems to sense the dangerous tension, and puts a hand on James’ arm to cool him down, while shooting you a warning look. You roll your eyes at him and go back to eating.

“Come off it, Prongs. She’s not really friends with him, so much as…” he pauses, searching for a word. “So much as…acquaintances with him.”<br>
James just frowns. “That’s the same thing.”<br>
“Not really, James,” Lily says, hurrying to your rescue from the murderous looking seeker. “Acquaintances just speak with each other civilly. Friends, on the other hand, share secrets with each other. Dreams can be acquaintances with Snape if she wants, actually.”<br>
“As long as his greasy-git personality doesn’t wear off on her, I guess I don’t care,” James said slowly, as if thinking about it. “I just hope she takes a lot of showers after being around him.”<br>
All of them laugh, and you find yourself not having to force a laugh at all.

“Fine,” you say, smiling a little. “I promise to take three showers a day from now on.”<br>
James and Sirius continue to laugh while Remus clears his throat, looking over your shoulder.

“I think he heard you,” he says quietly.

Turning around slightly, you notice Severus is glaring at you furiously. You sigh a little, knowing you have to talk to him.

“I’ll be right back,” you mutter, standing up and walking out, motioning ever-so-slightly for him to follow you.

You wait outside the Great Hall for a few moments before he comes storming out, his black robes swirling around him in a tempest of fury. You wince as he roughly grabs your arms and drags you into an empty corridor, down that corridor, and into an empty classroom. He then pushes you up against the wall.


”What were you doing?” he hisses, glaring at you.

“Um, I don’t—“

“I’ll tell you,” he snarls. “You were laughing with them as they made fun of me!”<br>
“They were making fun of me, Severus,” you say softly. “They just used you as a base for it.”

[Scoleciphobic]

“You still didn’t have to laugh with them,” he growls, his voice dangerously low, meaning he’s hurt or angry. You’re betting it’s a tad more of the former.

“I’m sorry, I am. I tried to defend you,” you say, reaching out to touch his arm.

He jerks away from your touch and glares at you. “Don’t touch me,” he sneers. “You might need to take another two showers.”<br>
“Severus, I—“

“I don’t want to hear it, Cie,” he says suddenly, his voice soft.

You watch as he looks away, and then back at you again. The change in his expression is amazing, as he goes from angry and hurt, to sad, painful, and accepting of it.

“I should’ve known that you would never truly be a friend,” he continues. “You and I live in two different worlds.”<br>
“Sev,” you start, thinking quickly. “Our worlds are growing closer and closer everyday.”<br>
“No,” he says sharply, even though you can hear the bitterness in it. “They aren’t.”<br>
Reaching out, you grab his left arm, and push back the sleeve to reveal the ugly Dark Mark that marred his pale skin. He doesn’t let his vision drop to it, obviously repulsed by it as you are. You push back the sleeve of your own robe, showing the identical tattoo.

“Yes they are,” you say softly. “We’re both in things way over our heads.”<br>
He shakes his head, his eyes softening considerably. “It’s different. I chose to bear this tattoo. You didn’t. Regulus forced it on you.”<br>
“Yes, but we still—“

“Just forget it, Cie. We’re in two different worlds, and that’s the only way it’s ever going to be,” he says so softly you have to strain to hear him. In the darkness, you think you catch the glimpse of a tear sliding down his cheek, but aren’t sure, because just as you think you see it, he reaches up to rub his eyes.

“I’m bloody tired, Cie,” he says, sighing. “I just want to know how you can go back with that…bastard…after all he did to you today.”<br>
You look away from him, and stare at the ground. In all honesty, you don’t know how you could either. If he really loved you, he wouldn’t have jumped to all those conclusions. This is Sirius, we’re talking about. Yes he would, your mind thinks frantically, trying to excuse his weird behaviour. You sigh and raise your eyes to meet his again.

“I love him, Sev.”<br>
The effect of your words is instantaneous. The black-haired Slytherin backs away from you as if your presence was poisoning him, and stares at you in disbelief.

“You love him? Did I honestly just hear you say that? Please tell me I didn’t,” he says, his voice actually sounding like a plea to your ears.

“I’m sorry, Sev. I do…” you say, wary of what he’ll do when the truth finally sinks in.

He just smiles bitterly at you. “After all this you still love him. I’ve put you through less than he has.”<br>
“It took me a month to realize I love him, Sev. Wait a month,” you say jokingly, trying to raise his spirit.

He shakes his head and steps closer to you. “It wouldn’t make any difference. You love him,” he says, mocking you slightly. The way he says it makes you sound stupid to your own ears.

“I love you, too, Sev,” you say before you can keep it back.

He looks you in the eyes and shakes his head again. “Not the same way as you love him.”<br>
“Yes, I—“

“Stop, Cie, just stop it!” he says, his voice suddenly hard.

“Severus—“

“I said stop it!” he repeats, pushing you against the wall, his hands roughly on your shoulders. You wonder if it’ll bruise. If it does, you’ll have a very hard time explaining it to Sirius without lying to him.

“If you know what’s good for you, Snivellus, you will put her down,” says a cold voice from behind him.

Just over his shoulder, you can see the figure of Remus, his wand aimed straight at Severus’ heart. Realizing the danger, he lets go and steps away, watching the wand warily. Wincing a little, you rub your shoulders. He notices for he looks at you, his eyes widening in concern.

“Cie, I’m sor—“

“Shut it, Snape,” Remus growls, causing you to look at him, startled.

Severus slowly starts to back away from you, then, turning, he shoots you an apologetic look before sprinting off in the direction of the dungeons. Remus snarls after him, and you whimper.

“Remus, come back. Gain control over the wolf.”<br>
He blinks a few times before seeing you standing there, shivering. Thinking it’s his fault, that he scares you, his eyes widen in horror before he sprints off in the direction of the Common Room. You watch him run away. I just scare so many guys away, you think wryly. Sighing a little, you head back to the Great Hall.

Just as you turn the corner, you see your friends leaving.

“Dreams! There you are!” Sirius says, looking relieved. Although no one else can see you, you note a slightly jealous glint in his eyes.

“Yeah, here I am.”<br>
“What happened? You were gone for a while, and then Remus got up to go find you and he never came back,” Lily asks, frowning a little.

“He did and then…he…” you pause momentarily, thinking up a lie. “He said he was really tired and went to go to bed.”<br>
Instantly James and Sirius look at you suspiciously, and you send them a warning look. Lily and Caroline buy it, for they shrug and start for the Common Room, leaving you alone with the two pranksters.

“What really happened, Dreams?” Sirius asks his voice dangerously soft.

“He almost lost control of the wolf,” you mumble. “I was shivering and I think he thought it was his fault, that he’d scared me that much, so he took off.”<br>
James nods in acceptance, but Sirius continues to look at you suspiciously. For the first time all day, you’re glad that you’re so tired; otherwise you’d be concentrating so much on looking innocent, that you would look guilty. Finally he accepts it, too, and puts his arm around your waist again, and you three start back for the Common Room.

This was one long, strange day, you think about fifteen minutes later as you get ready for bed.

Climbing into the comfortable place, you sigh. So it appears that Severus has a crush on you, and is jealous of Sirius. Remus does, too, but you’ve known he has for a while. Life is way too complicated, you think, drowsily as your eyes close as if by themselves.

The last thought you think as you fall asleep, is Snape hanging upside down by the lake, and how not unappealing it is.

--

A/N: So there it is my VERY long update. My friend said she wanted a long update for this story, so it is. I’d say that in all, the story is about twenty pages in word, but I could be wrong. I’m just estimating you know. I’m WAY too lazy to actually see, since I don’t want to. So there.

I don’t know how long it’ll be until I update again, so sorry if there’s a wait.

Severus is sooooo sexy!